TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK

You are sandwiched between French assholes and drunken Celtic fiddlers
One way or another, the government gets 98 percent of your income
You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies
When listing the provinces, everyone forgets to mention yours
The economy is based on fish, cows, and ferrying Ontario motorists
to Boston
No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
You have French people, but they don't want to kill you
Everybody has a Grandfather who runs a lighthouse
Just as charming as Maine, but with more unemployed fishermen
You probably live in a small seaside cottage with no television