Assorted e-mail I have recieved

Sad, really

You're whole site has nothing to say except "I'm not part of the US." It's a pathetic little person who can only define himself in terms of what he isn't. Not unlike your excuse for a country.

Re: Sad, really

It is hardly my intention to define myself with my website. Moreover, the site is one based on humour, and if you can't cope with that, I'm sure there is some therapy you can get - providing you have the funds. Perhaps you enjoy belittling those whos humour you can't appreciate. Take a little time and get yourself a new perspective, there's as much anti-Canadian humour as there is anti-American here.

frog.net

I'm so glad you liked my friend's site. It's always nice to know, here in our excuse for a country, where we enjoy a higher standard of living than y'all (look! I used an American word) that our southern neighbours can appreciate our sense of humour. Why don't you pop in your copy of Independence Day and thump your chest for a while, Tex.

I have read your comments regarding the frog.net website and found them very interesting. The humour presented in this site is just that...humour. I think it is unfortunate that there are very vocal Americans like yourself with absolutely no sense of humour when it comes to their own country. That is the kind of complacency that led to the creation of anti-american humour in an attempt to demonstrate to the over jingoistic Americans that no one is perfect, we all have flaws and we would get on a whole lot better if we learned to laugh about them.

I am British, yet I love making fun of the British government, legal system, Health service and just about everything else that I can.......does this mean that I hate my homeland...no, it just means that I have a sense of humour about things that I can not change.

My advice to you would be to learn to sit back and have a good laugh at America, the U.K, Canada and every other country, after all, western politics and society is an endless producer of some of the best jokes ever written.

I do compliment the writers of frog.net for sharing with us a small selection of the scads of jokes out there that can only result in putting us in our rightful place......and giving us a good belly laugh on the way.

Fan Mail

I found the site wholly amusing, right from 'Todays lecture deals with the Canadian experience from A to zee ...er zed...' through to the Fan Mail page which prompted me to write this. For some strange reason I can still smell cheese after seeing the photo of someone's (yours?) foot on the aforementioned page. The mind is a strange thing indeed.

An American once told me that he has visited and seen all of England, so I asked him of a few places, most of which he had never heard of (and claimed did not exist - including the town in which I live - or at least did live, until he decreed that it did not exist). It eventually transpired that he had visited only London, the capital city, and had not seen much of that. I wonder how he came to believe that after seeing Buckingham Palace, which is only one of several Palaces in the UK, he has seen everything in England. How small do they really think England is?

A survey was conducted in which American graduates were shown a map of the world, marked out into countries but not labeled, and asked to point to America. Out of thousands of students, 9/10 pointed to Russia. The reason they gave for pointing to this country was that it was the largest, and therefore it must surely be America. Presumably, all of these students had studied geography, and many of them must have studied geography to an advanced level, perhaps even majoring in the subject, but apparently their arrogance was greater than their intelligence.

I was once asked by an American what language we spoke in England. When I told him that we spoke English, he added this to his mental list of things which we English have stolen or copied from the Americans over the years. I didn't bother trying to explain where his logic had obviously failed him, because he was far too confident in himself and his opinions, and I couldn't gather the strength to tackle his triple-strength re-enforced blatant ignorance.

An American tourist once asked me for directions to a monument he was looking for. He had a map, which he refused to let me see, and just kept shouting at me that I was a fool because I didn't know where the monument was. There are dozens of monuments in Southampton, and I live there - I see them all the time and I forget they are there - they are just as much a part of the scenery as the benches, trees, walls, etc, and I hardly even notice them. I had no way of knowing which monument he was looking for. I would have explained all this and, using the map, gotten him to the monument he wanted to see, but he wouldn't shut up, which is completely the wrong attitude for someone to adopt when asking for directions. The idea is to ask a question, and then shut up and listen to the answer; only an American would ask you a question, and then talk loudly over the answer, and then keep asking without ever shutting up.

Other than the above examples of my personal experiences with Americans, I'm sure they are a great bunch of people. In fairness, many of my customers and business partners are American, and I having nothing but praise for them as individuals. They are all great people from a great nation that is unfortunately let down by some really ignorant and arrogant fools - many of whom seem to become President.

Michael Lewis Managing Director, Internet Handy Limited

greatings

~Froggie~